Notebook Thinking

I like to spend a little time each day pondering my thoughts by writing them out long-hand in a notebook. Sometimes an entry is all about one thing, how I am feeling, what I am going to do that day (usually I write earlier in the day rather than later) or something that is bothering me. Often the thoughts are more scattered and random, crashing about from one theme to another with no obvious structure.

I’m not sure when this habit started but, as can be seen from the picture below, it clearly become established about 5 years ago when I adopted a standard size and type of notebook (Moleskine pocket hardbound, usually squared, sometimes lined). I also have a standard type of pen (Mitsubishi USB185S, usually black, occasionally blue but only for a day or two if my black has run out and I have no replacement handy). I buy the pens in bulk and the notebooks a few weeks in advance – I have my next one ready and waiting. It would now trouble me quite a lot to use a different type of notebook or a different type of pen. I know that’s not a good thing… surprisingly, it doesn’t seem to bother me what colour I have.

I write in full sentences, recording my thoughts in an almost conversational style – just like this blog entry really. I think that this act of writing thoughts out by hand in pen on paper, slowly, is central to the enjoyment and value I get from the exercise. It stops me from racing ahead and forces me to stay with a line of thinking for longer than I probably would otherwise.

Sometimes I just end up with a page or two of writing that doesn’t say anything very much and it seems a bit pointless and forced. Other times I can stay in my groove for quite a long time (maybe an hour if I am well situated with a decent coffee nearby and, perhaps, not where I ought to be doing what I ought to be doing…). On those occasions I can really unlock blocks and constraints in my mind and my life, settling myself down, sifting my thoughts into order, resolving problems and geeing myself up for action. It’s wonderful when that happens.

To my knowledge, no-one has ever read anything I have written in these notebooks. If they have, they have certainly never admitted it. That’s probably just as well – I don’t generally write about deeply personal stuff involving other people although I do quite like to grumble. But I do write about what I am thinking and feeling, the frustrations I have with myself, especially in relation to my ongoing battles with procrastination and my tendency to be always be looking forward to some future time when life is how I want it to be rather than getting on with it now (I’ve ALWAYS been like that) and I am not sure that anyone else should have to suffer by entering that world.